Sunday, 30 August 2009

de ras :))

Doi bătrîni mor așa cum ne-am dori noi să murim: într-un accident violent de mașina sau de avion, nu mai țin minte, dar oricum, amîndoi în aceeași zi. Ajung la porțile de mărgăritar… Îngerul le deschide ușile pentru că au hainele spălate și curate, intră pe porți în cetate și …. numai minunății, minunății, minunății… După primele 7 sau 8 mii de ani de uimire și de căscat gura, el, țînînd-o de mînă tandru, dar puțin încruntat reușește să glăsuiască: - Vezi? Puteam să fim aici mai devreme cu 10 ani, da tu nimic… să mîncăm sănătos, să mîncăm sănătos…


The Yellow Smiley Face ( © PortableFilmFestival.com ) from Nixie on Vimeo.


Monday, 24 August 2009

Dear Tech Support Team:

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outgoings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall'

doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to deviate all software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag

9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With ShortSkirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support ...

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,


First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1

Please note that
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

muzica ce imi va aminti de grecia

Mereu cand ma duc intr-o tara raman cu cateva piese car eimi amintesc de tara respectiva.. acum am cateva.. voila