Living disconnected
Why do I feel so alone in this world? Today I took a core value and an enneagram test and the obvious results came out. I am afraid of being abandoned and I have a strong fear of failure. This is because I lack support and security. At the same time, I am so trapped in my thoughts and so emotional that my inner compass, the direction from my gut, my true self voice are all silenced. Following these, it would build my confidence, but I have no inner compass to guide me. I killed it. When moving to a new country I stopped being me, as a way of being flexible and adaptative to integrate into the British cold, distant, passive-aggressive, sarcastic culture. I am Latin, I was warm, tactile, lively, jolly, radiant. Now I feel so dead on the inside. My family says that I've changed into a distant cordial person, so almost into British. In my effort to fix myself I came across a youtube conference about the effect of sun deprivation, and a Tedtalk about stress and depression cause...