Who am I?

I'm not sure if you are like me, yet over the years I kept on wondering who am I and what makes me be me. I know it's a bit philosophical at this hour 15:55 ;) yet what makes one different from the others and what unites some people versus others?

You could say it's the type of hobbies, interests, relationships, food choices etc? Yet this is not enough because over time we let go of some people, build different relationships, we change our habits and we change too.

We transform ourselves based on newly acquired experiences and I think this explains why we change. Yet there is something that stays constant and unchangeable. This is the true essence of who we are. Don't get me wrong, we do evolve, grow, develop, where we get to carry ourselves, our essence though this life, during all this metamorphosis. At times it feels that we regress and life can seem that way.

Through hardship and living life as it comes, we discover who we are.

My own experience showed me that there is no shortcut regardless of how many books you've read or stories you've heard about life and who you are. Living and experiencing life with its hardship, it's so transformative that it's going to be unique to you. This is because we all perceive each experience differently, based on our past exposure to life and interactions with it. On top of that our imagination works in such a personal way that we get a different meaning from each event that we experience. It's a cumulation of all these, that shapes who we are. This captures the essence of "ME".

So you might wonder yes it's about the essence, but what is that? Well, it comes down to our core values and true inner self. Some might think, values can change over time, yet deep down we know we have a handful of them that are non-negotiable. This is where we draw the line. When we have identified clearly which these ones are, that's when we'll know who we are.

In all honesty, you can't discover your true self until you lived and experienced life. There is a lovely saying by John Stuart Mill who sums this us so elegantly and precise. "Whatever is known to us by consciousness, is known beyond the possibility of question. What one sees or feels, whether bodily or mentally, one cannot but be sure that one sees or feels. No science is required for the purpose of establishing such truths; no rules of art can render our knowledge of them more certain than it is in itself. There is no logic for this portion of our knowledge."

So you see, we think, speak, behave, act as per our values. This is how we make our choices and decisions as to why we do what we do. The food we choose to eat, what we buy, what we read, what we entertain, hat we let go of, where we go, the people we keep for company, the jobs we choose to take, etc.

We recognize when something starts to resonate with us from a very young age and we don't understand why. Often times we let the parents, the schools, the entourage, the society dictate what it's right or wrong and this is not always in line with our own values and true inner self. This creates confusion and makes us doubt ourselves. It happened to me as it did for many others.

When you awaken and become aware that this is not ok and that you had enough of external programming over your real you, that's when you start the search and question "Who am I?". That's when you'll look back and you know you would not make the same choices as you did. I know for one that this time I am very clear about what it's a no-no as it would make me feel strange in my own skin if I would choose otherwise.

It's that self-awareness and consciousness that keeps one true to their own values and inner self when it all becomes certain. This is the true identity of who I am!

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