How to get unstuck
I am stuck in every department of my life. I have no job, no partner, no close friends, no money, no property, nothing. Just my body is all my wealth and I already have 4 missing teeth and a dodgy knee. I don't know where to start to feel a sense of joy, achievement, fulfilment, wholeness.
Do I get a job first doing whatever and waste my life doing it like I did since uni and stay in the rat race?
Do I date intensively to find a husband to have children with so that I can have the loving family I used to dream for?
Do I focus on meeting new people to build relationships and get close friends by complaining about how miserable my life is?
Do I read books and start another school, another degree to learn something new to get a sense of achievement and get a better job in my mid 40s?
With which one do I start first, in which order? Which one is more important for my mental, emotional and physical health?
Should I get a job to support my life, or get friends to alleviate the loneliness and get emotional support, or to get education to get a job, or to date and find someone to have a family with to feel like I leave a legacy before my eggs are dying, or get a job so that I can offer my future kids a good life, or have no kids becasue I can't afford a good life for myself let alone to take care of someone else?
I am so confused because each department takes few years and I know running after too many things at the same time will get me nothing because this is what I've done in the past where I lost it all.
I need money, want a partner and a family, I want knowledge, I want my own house to feel at home.
Education, Job, House, Partner, Family.
This is how I started and I am going in a loop. My education is archaic now, I don't have a job and my current education will get me a low paying job. I can barely afford the rent, so to buy a house is out of the question. I'm so miserable that no one wants to date an unemployed, anxious and depressed person with no dreams, hopes and a massive quitter. Building a family, it would be the reword, but I guess I am stuck in a loop and I don't want this strong enough to go through hell and back few times. Help!
This is the negative self-talk that keeps me stuck. In reality I know that what I need to do is get back into the life and stop overthinking. I need to experience more and a variety of things. Do more of things that get me out of the comfort zone. Learning is better by doing. Doing more of what sparks joy and resonates with my values. I have set archaic rules as to what I should do, in which order, written by my grandparents, parents, society, all expectations that frustrate me because deep down I don't feel like doing what is expected of me because what I truly want is not in line or in the order of that this entire time I was dictated to do. And this is what breaks me and gets me stuck. The duality of being torn between the true me and the identity the parents, colleagues, society wants me to have to fit in. I know this is meant to save me, protect me and it’s all coming from a good place, yet what I need to learn to d is to say no. What they want me to do, what is expected of me is not what I want for myself. This would be a liberating experience, a sense of freedom achieved only by releasing this burden that I have to comply with what is expected of my. I am different for a reason. I have a purpose to fill.
At the end it’s all simple. Learn to put healthy boundaries and stay true to them. And mainly get out of the filter bubble!!
Do I get a job first doing whatever and waste my life doing it like I did since uni and stay in the rat race?
Do I date intensively to find a husband to have children with so that I can have the loving family I used to dream for?
Do I focus on meeting new people to build relationships and get close friends by complaining about how miserable my life is?
Do I read books and start another school, another degree to learn something new to get a sense of achievement and get a better job in my mid 40s?
With which one do I start first, in which order? Which one is more important for my mental, emotional and physical health?
Should I get a job to support my life, or get friends to alleviate the loneliness and get emotional support, or to get education to get a job, or to date and find someone to have a family with to feel like I leave a legacy before my eggs are dying, or get a job so that I can offer my future kids a good life, or have no kids becasue I can't afford a good life for myself let alone to take care of someone else?
I am so confused because each department takes few years and I know running after too many things at the same time will get me nothing because this is what I've done in the past where I lost it all.
I need money, want a partner and a family, I want knowledge, I want my own house to feel at home.
Education, Job, House, Partner, Family.
This is how I started and I am going in a loop. My education is archaic now, I don't have a job and my current education will get me a low paying job. I can barely afford the rent, so to buy a house is out of the question. I'm so miserable that no one wants to date an unemployed, anxious and depressed person with no dreams, hopes and a massive quitter. Building a family, it would be the reword, but I guess I am stuck in a loop and I don't want this strong enough to go through hell and back few times. Help!
This is the negative self-talk that keeps me stuck. In reality I know that what I need to do is get back into the life and stop overthinking. I need to experience more and a variety of things. Do more of things that get me out of the comfort zone. Learning is better by doing. Doing more of what sparks joy and resonates with my values. I have set archaic rules as to what I should do, in which order, written by my grandparents, parents, society, all expectations that frustrate me because deep down I don't feel like doing what is expected of me because what I truly want is not in line or in the order of that this entire time I was dictated to do. And this is what breaks me and gets me stuck. The duality of being torn between the true me and the identity the parents, colleagues, society wants me to have to fit in. I know this is meant to save me, protect me and it’s all coming from a good place, yet what I need to learn to d is to say no. What they want me to do, what is expected of me is not what I want for myself. This would be a liberating experience, a sense of freedom achieved only by releasing this burden that I have to comply with what is expected of my. I am different for a reason. I have a purpose to fill.
At the end it’s all simple. Learn to put healthy boundaries and stay true to them. And mainly get out of the filter bubble!!
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